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#1 MAKE EYE CONTACT
If you want to approach someone you like, first establish eye contact. Eye contact is an easy way to gauge someone’s interest and level of attraction. Before you approach someone, try to make eye contact several times.
When we find someone attractive or they spark our interest, we’ll often look in their direction many times before we actually build up the courage to approach them. Eye contact is the easiest way to establish a connection with someone.
Communicating nonverbally through eye contact can help you quickly assess someone’s level of intrigue towards you. It can also convey your interest in them. Keep it subtle. Don’t stare. A glance in their direction several times will do. Eye contact helps you determine whether or not this person is worth approaching.
If you’re at a bar or restaurant and you find yourself making eye contact with someone multiple times, they likely have some mutual interest or intrigue. While you shouldn’t simply assume someone’s attraction towards you based on eye contact alone, if they look at you as much as you look at them, it’s a good sign they’re open to you approaching them.
#2 MAINTAIN OPEN BODY LANGUAGE
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Before approaching someone you like, it’s important to get their attention. You can do this by maintaining open body language. Face the room, avoid huddling in your group of friends, and stay off your phone. It’s attractive when someone enjoys their time, converses with others, laughs, and smiles.
Keep your body language open and inviting. Avoid crossed arms and hunched posture. Instead, pull your shoulders back, pick your chin up, and stand up tall. Avoid standing in a corner or closing yourself off if you want to appear approachable.
Body language can convey a lot about a person. Appearing open, friendly, and inviting, can catch someone’s attention and make you seem more approachable or attractive.
#3 BE CONFIDENT
Confidence is key if you want to approach someone you like. It’s sometimes difficult to act confidently around people we find attractive. But confidence commands respect and even trust. Confidence is hot.
If anything, it’ll get the person’s attention. Most people can spot insecurity fairly easily. If you don’t have the most confidence, it’s okay to fake it. Hype yourself up a bit and go for it. Approach the person, put your hand out, and introduce yourself.
If confidence doesn’t come naturally to you, rehearse a few questions or what you might say in your head before approaching them. Conveying confidence will help you hold this person’s attention and interest as you start a conversation with them.
#4 DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME
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If you want to approach someone you like, you need to let go of the outcome. Think about it this way, regret is usually worse than rejection. Would you rather approach someone and have them reject you? Or would you rather be too afraid to approach someone you like and be left with regret?
Who knows, that person could be a real asshole, or they could be the future love of your life. If you don’t put yourself out there and approach them, you might always wonder what could’ve been. If you put yourself out there and go up to them, you won’t have to deal with regret and “what-if” thoughts.
Usually, the best things in life occur when we push ourselves out of our comfort zones. Even if we don’t form a strong connection with this person or get their number, it’s still an opportunity to learn and grow. You have nothing to lose. Let go of the outcome, stop overthinking, remain in the moment, and just go up to them.
#5 GIVE A SUBTLE COMPLIMENT
Another strategy to approach someone you find attractive is giving them a subtle compliment. A basic compliment about their outfit, hairstyle, or general appearance usually works.
Complimenting them will help you quickly form a connection with someone and easily opens the conversation. It conveys your interest and will make the person feel good.
Once you compliment them, assess their response. If they respond positively or compliment you in return, it’s usually a good sign to continue with the conversation. You’ve successfully caught their attention.
It may help you gauge their interest too. Complimenting them starts the conversation on a positive note and sets the tone for the conversation.
#6 FIND COMMON GROUND
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Approaching someone you like doesn’t have to be difficult. One way to approach them and keep the conversation going is through finding common ground.
Ask about their interests and try to find something in common with them. If you’re at a bar or restaurant, you could discuss your favorite foods or drinks. Finding commonalities will help you establish a connection with this person and hold their attention.
Common interests or tastes can connect you two and can help the conversation flow more easily.
#7 ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Once you build up the courage to approach someone you like, you need to hold their attention. Do this by asking open-ended questions. People usually enjoy talking about themselves. Use that to your advantage, especially if you’re nervous.
Ask what they love about their career or major, what their favorite restaurants are, where they want to travel to, or what places they’ve visited. Ask questions that prompt discussion and more than a one-word reply.
This will help connect the both of you and will make sure the conversation is memorable. It will also help you establish whether or not you two have any chemistry. Ask a few questions then let them talk.
#8 BE A GOOD LISTENER
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This tip goes hand in hand with asking open-ended questions. If you want to form a connection with someone, try to be a good listener.
Ask memorable and meaningful questions and then genuinely listen to their responses and perspectives. People love to feel heard.
Also, if you’re nervous, this is a great time to take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Thinking of questions is sometimes the more difficult part. Listening is easy. When you genuinely listen and engage in their responses, it’ll make them feel important.
When you sit back and don’t try to overtake the conversation, it shows your confidence. It’s attractive and it’ll help the other person form a connection with you.
#9 KEEP THE CONVERSATION SHORT AND SWEET
Lastly, when you approach someone you like, it’s important to keep the conversation short and sweet. Start a conversation, flirt a little, find something in common, and ask a few meaningful and open-ended questions. Then, find an out.
You don’t need to hang on this person all night. Keeping the conversation brief can be extremely attractive. If you do it right, it can leave the other person wanting more.
You’ll want to wait until the conversation is going well or at its peak before wrapping it up. Don’t wait for a lull or any awkward silence. Leave when the conversation is engaging. Listen to what they say and then find a way to politely close the conversation.
If you feel bold, you could even ask for their number at this point. Keeping the conversation short and sweet will hold this person’s attention and keep them thinking about you. Approach them, establish a connection, and then go on with the rest of your night. It’s attractive, shows your confidence, and will ensure you stay on this person’s mind the rest of the night.